Chris Woven-Yoke Vest: February 1st to 5th.

My knitting on this project is extremely loose. The item is turning out like one of those open weave tank tops we used to wear in the eighties with a pink studded belt that went around your waist twice, over pink pin-striped stretch faberges. Can tension really change that much? Or am I just having a particularly relaxing project? I am writing this just off night shift and every time I come back from the edges of consciousness (manifested through staring at the screen with hands pressing down the keys continuously for minutes at a time), I realise I have no idea what to say. So, I did what every respectable blogger does in this type of an emergency: I googled 'knitting tension'. I'm loving the tips that came up courtesy of the Knitting Guru. (Especially poignant that there is a buddha on her site—everything really is connected.) Changeabilty in your tension is, the Guru says, a'mateurish and unflattering'. I am hoping that tension differences between projects, rather than within, won't give that appearance. Although the 'picking it up and putting it down' issue inherent in this time-driven project means that it may very well happen within as well.

Within, when I type, always, always, always comes up as withing. I find it hard to fight.

Guru also gives a solution for tension issues. The solution has made me tense. See if you can unravel this: to make your tension even she suggests threading the yarn over your pinkie, under your palm, up between your index finger and middle finger and then over your index finger. I think that also makes a very complicated knot that has something to do with bunnies in bunny holes and the way you make a cat's cradle, or even a secret mason's handshake with tickle. Like google helped me find inspiration about what to talk to you about, my lovely listener, so You Tube, I am confident, will sort out that little conundrum. Ah, technology!

When you have watched the You Tube video and have the wool over your pinkie, under your palm, between index and middle finger and over the former, then, shut down your senses. Believe you cannot feel the wool glide over your skin or see it's neutral colour, that you can't hear it moving with the needles or smell its lanolin sheepiness or taste its teeth-curling furriness. If you can do this for any sensation—pain, ticklishness, pleasure—then, Osho says, you can pull away from your body and realise your centre. Remember, the centre is this desirable non-desiring place to be where you can find your 'I'. The body is a part of the world, not a part of you. This technique, by shutting you off from your body, as if your body was stone, forces you into the centre—it makes a gap. In the centre, when you know yourself, you are awake. Apparently you can then see that most people are asleep—you can see it in their eyes. I would like to be awake. But my tiredness stems from night shift and the perpetual attempt to get back onto day shift. Will realising my inner me-ness overcome this kind of tiredness. Give me a guarantee and I'll give it a go. Meanwhile I couldn't even take ten deep breaths in a row yesterday without panicing about how much precious time this whole 'relaxing' malarky takes!

And just a little something about the actual vest, shall I? It's made with Basics Merino, a hundred percent merino wool in creamy white. It is currently about half finished—hence the close-up photo: from a distance it looks like nothing at all. Stay tuned for further developments as they come to hand.